Think Happy Thoughts

Ick, Aspartame!

Tue, 15 May 2007 15:39:42 GMT

Aspartame is gross. Why didn't I check the labels on these snacks before buying them????

Am I on Crank Yankers?

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:18:46 GMT

Someone keeps calling my office, and when I pick up, they're dialing some other number.

The first time, I tried talking over the beeping, got frustrated, and hung up.
The second time, I heard the beeping before I even got the receiver to my ear, so I hung up.

If it happens a third time, I'm recording the number off of caller ID and posting it in a MySpace bulletin so everyone can call them and teach them how to make a phone call!

Naw, I won't really. It's just fun to bitch. >:)

Gonna go back in time

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 19:24:20 GMT

Mina gave me a great gift for my birthday - "Something to Be" by Rob Thomas. She sheepishly admitted that she didn't know who he was, but she was glad to know I loved receiving the cd. Rob Thomas is a very talented musician who has enjoyed success and fame thanks to the popularity of his band, Matchbox Twenty. But I have another reason for liking his music so much.

The year is 1998. I think the date was September 25, but it could have been the 4th or the 11th. Either way, it was a Friday. Mix 96.5 disc jockeys, Larry and Shelby, had been holding contests all week to give away tickets and backstage passes to the Matchbox Twenty concert at the Woodlands Pavillion. Monday, they gave away 5th row tickets, and they progressed one row each day, and the contests got "more challenging," until they got to Front Row Friday.

I didn't pay too much attention to the contest because I didn't know much about MB20 at the time, and I wasn't even sure I liked them. The lead singer sounded a bit like the lead singer of the Counting Crows, and I hated the Counting Crows at the time. I thought "Mr. Jones" was the most irritating song ever written. Anyway, I didn't want anything to do with any band that sounded like one I hate. If I went at all, it would be to see the opening act - Paula Cole, and even that wasn't worth the effort. Fucktard didn't care. He wanted to go to the show.

So, on Front Row Friday, the dj's announce it's time to call in and compete for the tickets. Fucktard grabs the phone, dials, and hands it to me. I was about to hang it up in protest until I noticed that the line was actually ringing. I listen for a second, barely breathing, and the dj picks up and tells me to hold for the contest. I was caller 2, and they were only accepting three callers. During the commercial break, the show's producer explained the rules of the game - they'd play a verse of a Matchbox Twenty song, and then it was up to us to sing the chorus when the music stopped. To make things fair, they played the entire clip for us. I think they even played it twice. The last thing the producer said was, "Don't worry if you can't sing. Just have fun." As shy and insecure as I was back then, I still couldn't help but chuckle at that just a little bit.

After the commercial break, the dj introduces the contestants, explain the rules for the audience, and starts the game. Caller one wasn't bad. She stayed on key, but you could tell she was putting no effort into it. The djs politely told her that she did a nice job.

Then, it's my turn. I hear:
I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get me some
Boy don't make me wanna change my...tone, my tone
DJs: GO!

I take a deep breath and blast:
Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here
If I were someone else, would this all fall apart
Strange, where were you, when we started this gig,
I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me

Or, something like it because I know I got a few of the words wrong, but I don't remember which ones. The djs cheered and told me I had great energy. Then, it was time for contestant three. Bless her heart, she had a nice voice, but she was so nervous that she wobbled and stuttered the entire time. The djs take another commercial break and tell us to hold because they'll announce the winner live.

I sit down in my desk chair and tremble a little. I know I sounded the best, but what if they gave the tickets to contestant three out of sympathy? What if contestant one was sleeping with the producer? I started to psyche myself out for losing gratiously. I told myself, "I don't know why it matters. I mean, I'm not sure I even like this band, and I'm nervous over whether I'd win tickets to their show? Crazy! It's at the pavillion, and I hear the actual seats are SO uncomfortable. I'd be better off on the lawn. I hear backstage passes aren't all that great anyway because the lofty musicians won't even acknowledge the fans. I don't need that snobbery." As I fill my head with cushioning to absorb the "Sorry, Loser" blow, my kitten, Alley, makes herself comfortable at my feet. She nuzzled my toes as she laid down and wrapped her tail around her delicate body.

What seemed like an eternity later, the djs come back on the air and announce that they've decided on a winner. The next thing I hear is a click and, "Stephanie?" "Yes?" I respond nervously. "You're going to the show!" I jump to my feet, scream at the top of my lungs, and send my poor Alley flying across the room in terror. Ok, I don't care how I felt about the band. This was damn exciting!

The producer chats with me for a second about how to claim my tickets, where to meet him for the backstage passes, etc. He even suggests that I sneak a camera in to the pavillion. No problem! I had a backpack purse with a hidden compartment, and the camera wasn't even noticed. When we get backstage, we mingle with the other winners. The evening dj from Mix interviewed the winners about how they won their tickets. When he gets to me, he asks me to sing again. I'd already performed a dozen times that day because everyone who heard about my victory wanted to hear me sing. So, I was happy to do it again. Then, I go back to mingling. A funny thing was that no one actually knew what the band members look like. Finally, the workers from the radio station pass around posters for everyone to have autographed, and we got our first glimpse of our hosts. We got the posters just in time because it was then that the band started wandering around the crowd.

I decided before the show that I was not going to be starstruck. That would be lame. So, I approached each member of the band as if they were the ones anxiously waiting to meet me. Let me tell you something. These guys are AWESOME! They were friendly and so honored to meet the people who made them who they are. They signed everything we put in front of them, asked us questions about ourselves, and chatted about anything under the sun. The lead guitarist gave a little boy one of his guitar picks. My favorite part is their willingness to sign an extra poster that I could take to my sister as a souvenir. Oh, and they all posed for pictures. Before we knew it, the manager was telling the band that they needed to go get ready because Paula Cole had already begun. The band still stuck around long enough to make sure they've said their goodbyes and thank yous properly.

Normally, I wouldn't like getting into a concert late, but this was worth it. The guys made the whole experience feel like we were meeting old friends. I bet you could run into them at a bar and be invited for a beer and game of pool.

The show was awesome! Matchbox Twenty came out looking oh so fine, and they put a lot of love into their performance. I was particularly impressed by the fact that they didn't have the stage lined with alcoholic beverages like so many other bands. For all I know, they could have been completely shit-faced, but it didn't show. That was really a relief because there's nothing more annoying than paying big bucks to see a performing slobbering drunk and paying more attention to his rum than to the music. These guys knew why they were there.

Every now and then, one of the band members would spot me in the front row and give me a nod, a wink, or a high-five. I listened to the songs and realized just how much I did like them. Ok, so maybe I still wouldn't like them if I hadn't met them, but what of it? I am woman. Hear me change my mind. ;)

One of our autographed items was a copy of "Yourself or Someone Like You," which was played on a loop for at least the next month. I had to leave it behind when I left Austin. I also had to leave behind the autographed poster. But, my sister still has her poster, and I made damn sure I left Austin with the pictures I took backstage. I've since purchased "Mad Season" and "More Than You Think You Are." I've seen Matchbox Twenty live once more Naturally, I drooled when Santana partnered with Rob Thomas for "Smooth," and I've been known to go into a trance when a MB20 music video comes on television.

As soon as Mina gave me "Something to Be," I went straight to my CD player, and a phenomenon occured that only takes place with very special CDs - I listen to the entire thing, beginning to end, regardless of whether I knew the song playing. The songs are all great, as I expected. I received it right on the heels of receiving "Color and Harmony" by Larry Siegel, whom I also adore for very personal reasons, so it's having to take turns on the loop. It is on the loop, though.

I want to blog more about the cd later, and I'll also blog about my other birthday presents. This story was just so cool that I had to let it stand alone. :D

Ain't worth it!

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 19:47:50 GMT

I quit bootcamp.

They can stuff it.

Long time, no talk

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:17:38 GMT

So, I haven't had much to say lately. I still don't, really. I just have an update for bootcamp that I posted on MySpace:

I started boot camp last Tuesday - getting up at 4 am, leaving the house by 4:30, exercising from 5 to 6 am, rushing home, cleaning up, and heading to work three days a week.

We start each session off with a jog. I typically don't jog, but I'm freaking competitive, so my drive not to be in last place got my legs a-movin'. Then, we warm up for a few minutes. We finish up with more cardio, a cool-down run, abs, and a little yoga.

It's great exercise, but I'm SORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't hit me how sore I am until I try to get out of my chair. Then, I forget again until I try to sit down.

I'd better lose my last 5 pounds during all this crap. It's tough to tell right now because, you men beware what I'm about to say next, I just started my period, and I'm all bloaty. So, tomorrow has the serious potential to suck because I'll be dealing with cramps on top of the usual physical exertion. But, I have a little ray of sunshine waiting for me. It's "Bring a Friend Week", and Jenanigan's joining me on Tuesday.

Misery loves company. Uh, I mean it'll be fun!!!!

hee hee hee hee hee hee

That is all.

Idiocracy

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:31:52 GMT

It seems I spent more time talking about my experience with renting the movie than actually talking about the movie.

Last weekend, Dax and I were in Blockbuster in search of entertainment since the movies available at the theatre failed to inspire an "oooh, ooh, oooh!!!" response. Well, the films did, but the show times didn’t. So, we wander through the aisles looking for something to stare at for two hours. Usually we’re in there forever because instead of actually browsing, we tend to pick up the dvd’s and hurl them at each other to initiate a public tickle fight. This time it was late, so we actually browsed.

We narrowed the field down to three: The Greatest Game Ever Played, Gridiron Gang, and Idiocracy. The focus of this entry is my experience with Idiocracy, but first I want to say that The Greatest Game Ever Played and Gridiron Gang are AWESOME! I resisted TGGEP because it was about golf, and I could just see myself being literally bored to tears, but a voice in my head whispered, “Legend of Bagger Vance”, and I gave in. I resisted Gridiron Gang because football . . . burrrrr! But, the same voice whispered, “Remember the Titans”, and I tell my voice, “Oh, alright!!!!!!!” I’m so glad I listened.

So, now that those are taken care of, on with the show!

Dax and I take our movie selections to the cashier. I spot her from across the store, and I can tell I won’t like her. I don’t know how I do it, but I’m never wrong. Unfortunately, I never listen to my instincts either. My soft side always kicks in and says, “But you don’t KNOW Hannibal Lecter. Honestly, Stephanie, you’ve just met him. Get to know him, and I bet he’s a really decent guy underneath it all.” And the next thing I know, he’s sharpening his knife at a dinner table with nothing on it except fava beans and a bottle of chianti. Why does he keep looking at me like that? And what is that weird slurping noise he’s making? Yeah, it happens every time I ignore my people intuition. It was easy to accept that I don’t like this girl because she’s just an employee at Blockbuster – not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just mean it’s not like she’s a candidate for new best friend or anything. I don’t have to like her. This part of the story is relevant. I promise!

So, Dax hands our movies to the clerk, and he asks her if she has an opinion on any of them. Ugh, I really don’t want to hear her opinion on any of these, but of course she gives it. And I quote . . .

Clerk: [insert surfer dudette/wannabe valley girl/burnout voice here] So, like, Idiocracy . . . oh my gawd, it lives up to the title. I hated it. It was, like, so stupid. Like, it’s about (I’ll give my own synopsis, thank you). Okay, and so, it had funny parts, but it wasn’t funny. It was just really stupid like Napoleon Dynamite.

Dax: [points to me] She liked Napoleon Dynamite, but I thought it was stupid too.

My inner monologue: Traitor.

Clerk: [switches into pseudointellectual gear] Oh my gawd, you liked that? Can I ask you what you liked about it? I must know. I mean it was so stupid! It had no point! There wasn’t a single funny part in it except (insert list of at least five funny parts here. I got bored and stopped paying attention). Do you remember that? Oh, and you know the part where he and Pedro go on the bike ramp? The reason Pedro was able to do it was because there were three bricks under the board, which you can clearly see. When Napoleon Dynamite does it, the bricks are gone! It’s bullshit, man! There are so many parts in the movie like that, and I spotted them all! I was so bored I had nothing else to do but sit there in the theatre and count these things. It was SO stupid!

I wanted to ask why she paid so much attention if it was so stupid? So she could have the privilege of going around and spouting off exactly how bad the movie is? Granted, there are perfectly valid reasons for remembering why a movie is unenjoyable, and if you don’t believe me, ask me about The Protector. If you just don’t like (or can’t get) the humor, fine. Just don’t belittle someone else for having an appreciation for it, especially if that someone is a customer who ultimately contributes to your salary. Can you say, “Netflix?” Ugh. Idiot!!

Since the clerk is a moron, I feel confident in our movie selections. And may I say, “Yessssssssssss.”

Idiocracy was hilarious!

I don’t know if Mike Judge is a Joe Rogan fan or not, but I think Mr. Fear Factor’s stand up routine, which predates Idiocracy, gives a pretty good description of what to expect. I can’t find a transcript, it’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen him, and I won’t be able to do it justice, but I’ll give you a basic rundown of the bit.

Joe is talking about technology and how we’d all be living in caves fighting bears with sticks if all the smart people died. To demonstrate his point, he bangs on his microphone and asks, “Why is that loud? Could you make this?” He then goes on to discuss ancient Egypt and the pyramids, and he asks why we can’t make something like that now? With all of our technological advances, why are the pyramids so astounding? Why didn’t we have flying cars centuries ago? His answer – all the smart people died off and didn’t reproduce because they were too busy coming up with other smart stuff like dental hygiene. But while they were doing that, the builders (a.k.a. the stupid people) would spend their evenings producing stupid offspring.

And there you have the premise for Idiocracy: the smart people aren’t reproducing because they’re waiting for the right time, which never arrives. Stupid people (portrayed by Jerry Springer’s wet dream) procreate like crazy thus overthrowing natural selection, which typically favors the survival of desirable characteristics.

The plot of Idiocracy is basically ripped off from Matt Groening’s Futurama. Not a bad thing - I like Futurama. Luke Wilson and Maya Rudolph are two perfectly average Americans who agree to participate in an army experiment in human hibernation. They were supposed to hibernate for only one year, but something went wrong, and they ended up hibernating for five hundred years. When they awaken in 2505, they find a world overrun by idiots. I don’t mean the idiots that overpopulate Earth now. I mean people who are probably incapable of remembering to breathe. The gene pool got THAT polluted.

Luke Wilson made a really good Average Joe hero, named Joe of course, and the script did a really good job of glorifying common sense. There were a few mindless jokes thrown in, and none of the humor was what I’d call sophisticated, but even Mr. “I thought Napoleon Dynamite was stupid too” thought the movie was hilarious.

The best performance was given by Dax Shepard who portrayed an idiot lawyer named Frito. ((My Dax and I call Dax Shepard “The Imposter” because Dax is like the Highlander – there can be only one. My Dax was born first, so he wins. heheheheh)) We first meet Frito when Joe’s hibernation coffin slams through his apartment window during a trash avalanche. Frito is watching a program on The Violence Channel called “Ow, My Balls!” The show is exactly what you’d expect – a guy getting hit in the crotch over and over again. No doubt Miss Blockbuster thought this part was stupid and unbelievable, but I bet you money she doesn’t realize we already have a similar show. Ever notice the majority of clips on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”? Yeah, apparently modern Americans think getting hit in the balls is funny too.

Long story short, Joe leaves Frito’s apartment, goes to the hospital for tests (including an IQ test), gets acknowledged as an outsider, and ends up in jail. Somehow, the concept of due process still exists, but of course it’s fubar because the most intelligent people in the country are pro wrestlers. Joe’s court-appointed lawyer is none other than, you guessed it, Frito. Since Frito’s dumb, he does a miserable job of defending Joe. Instead, Frito calls Joe a fag and cheers when the judge issues a harsh sentence.

Joe escapes from prison and reconnects with Frito who agrees to show Joe and Rita (Rudolph) the location of a time machine. In their search for the time machine, Joe gets arrested again and taken to the President because his IQ test results were off the chart. The President, also a pro wrestler, names Joe Secretary of the Interior and promises that Joe will fix everything that’s wrong with the country. Joe’s solution leads to other problems, so he’s sentenced to death by monster truck rally. Since the movie is predictable, you already know Joe gets saved just in time, but the story’s development is still quite good.

So, the moral of this story is . . . that girl sucks.

Online Classes RAWK!

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:02:11 GMT

I started at 11:30 am today. It's now 2:00 pm. And I've done all my work for the week. Well, for that one class anyway. Still . . .

BOOYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Call me crazy, but

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:15:48 GMT

I really want to see this some time.

I wonder if there's a karaoke version of this . . . HINT HINT

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 01:06:43 GMT

*****Sheepish grin*****

Some people ain't no damn good
You can't trust 'em
You can't love em
No good deed goes unpunished
And I don't mind being their whipping boy
I've had that pleasure
For years and years
No, no I never was a sinner
Tell me what else can I do
Second best is what you get
'Til you learn to bend the rules
Time respects no person
And when you lift up must fall
They're waiting outside
To claim my crumblin' walls

Saw my picture in the paper
Read the news around my face
And now some people
Don't want to treat me the same

When the walls
Come tumblin' down
When the walls
Come crumblin', crumblin'
When the walls
Come tumblin', tumblin'
Down
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy
That I'm uneducated
And my opinion means nothin'
But I know I'm a real good dancer
Don't need to look over my shoulder
To see what I'm after
Everybody's got their problems
Ain't no new news here
I'm the same old trouble
You've been having for years
Don't confuse the problem
With the issue, girl
It's perfectly clear
Just a human desire
To have you come near
Want to put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me
You can break me
But you better stand clear

When the walls
Come tumblin' down
When the walls
Come crumblin', crumblin'
When the walls
Come tumblin', tumblin'
Crumblin', tumblin'
Down

Want to put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my ear
You can bend me
You can break me
But you better stand clear
When the walls
Come tumblin' down

Question

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 22:50:30 GMT

Does anyone have to know how to spell, format a business letter, or generally type anymore?

I learned to type on a typewriter from the stone age. That meant no correcting ribbon or automatic carriage return. So, that meant if you made a mistake, you had to use the little pieces of White Out tape. That was a pain in the ass, but you'd better believe we learned where the darn keys are.

When I got into high school, computers were still not exactly a household item, so I was super excited when my parents bought me a typewriter for my homework assignments. It had a correcting ribbon, an automatic carriage return, AND - HOLY CRAP - an alarm when you've misspelled a word!! You still had to look the word up, but hey! At least you know you needed to look.

I start college, and computers are not only common, they're a necessity. Spell check!?!?!? You mean you can hit one button, the computer tells you which words are misspelled, and it even makes suggestions for the correct spelling? THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!!!

As with everything else, just having spell check wasn't enough. No, the powers that be in the word processing technology industry had to make further improvements. Now, there's autocorrect. Imagine you're trucking along at a thousand words per minute, and you type "adn". Not to worry, it's one of the most common typos, and your computer knows that, so it fixes the error when you hit the space bar. forget to capitalize the first word of a sentence? Piece of cake! Your computer takes care of that too!

Here are my problems:
What if you meant to type adn? It might be a real word to someone.
What if the first word after a period isn't the first word of a new sentence? What if it's the first word after an abbreviation? What if the first word of a new sentence is iPod? When Microsoft Word thinks it's right, it's a pain in the ass to get your document to look the way you want it to.
This kind of technology isn't making things easier for people to do their jobs. This kind of technology is making it easier for people to be lazy or perhaps even stupid.

Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that I can save letters and quickly find the correct spelling of necessity. I just think all this autocorrecting and autoformatting is just one more example of people not taking responsibility for themselves, as in, "I don't have to learn how to do that because someone else will fix it for me." I may make errors, but dammit I own up to them and try to fix them because I take pride in the things I do manage to do correctly - it's ME doing it, not some stup-ass machine.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Much better. :)

One day at a time

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 21:26:20 GMT

(meant to go on MySpace, but it's not working , and I really want to post this)

I haven't read filth in two days now. There's a little bit of withdrawal going on, but like with any addiction, one just has to breathe and say . . .

This is it. This is it.
This is life, the one you get
So go and have a ball.

This is it. This is it
Straight ahead and rest assured
You can’t be sure at all.

So while you’re here enjoy the view
Keep on doing what you do
So hold on tight we'll muddle through
One day at a time, One day at a time.

So up on your feet. Up on your feet
Somewhere there’s music playing.
Don’t you worry none
We’ll just take it like it comes.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

It's a jungle out there

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 19:19:27 GMT

I have so many issues with this . . .

But at least I have a new favorite line:
Zoo vets haven't ruled out using tranquilizer darts if the humans misbehave.

Let's Try the Superhero thing again . . .

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 18:42:51 GMT

<td align="center"> You are The Flaming Tart.
(Your alter-ego is danceblues)

Your super-hero ability:

Grow a tail and use it to fly Mario style

'What is your superhero ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Made up the superhero name all by myself. ;-)

Attention MySpace haters!

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 14:20:51 GMT

This is really cute! (Warning: it's a link to a MySpace page, but it's worth it!)

Today we salute you, Mr. Myspace addict!
You thought you could just log on once, but little did you know it would consume your life. Joining one pointless group was just not enough. Adding every person you never spoke to in high school, and people you've never met who live 3000 miles away just to be "virtually" popular. As if IM wasn't enough to feed into your stalker-ish behavior. Oooo look at you with your 340, 659 "friends". So go ahead, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Compulsive Away Message Checker Turned Myspace Psycho!!
It's too bad that you're not too popular at the bar, but in virtual reality, you'd be the life of the cyber party.

Enjoy!

Really pervy when taken out of context

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 20:26:45 GMT

"Hey, if it's bigger than six inches, you have to pay extra." (Talking about adding postage to oversized envelopes)
"You can NEVER make a woman go down." (When a student asked his dance instructor how to "make" a woman dip. My response to the teacher's answer was, "Damn right you can't!" bah ha ha)

That's all I've got so far, but I thought it was funny enough to stand alone. I may add more later. :)

Freedom '07

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 17:17:47 GMT

I had a blast on New Year's Eve. One of the best parts was getting to dress up. With some help from seweccentric, I put together

(Not pictured - hot pink and black striped knee socks, three inch black spike heels, and teeny tiny hem on the mini-skirt, and this really doesn't show how heavy my eye makeup was)

It was SO MUCH FUN! In fact, it was so much fun, and I was so pleased with how I looked, that I considered adopting the style a little more often. I have plenty of items in my wardrobe that would compliment this look, but they've just been collecting dust in my closet because I was always too intimidated to wear them. I actually gave a damn about what people thought, and I used to dress accordingly.

So, for my New Year's Day activities, I dusted off my Ramone's t-shirt and white ruffle socks and basically duplicated my NYE costume. I looked great! As I was walking out the door, it occured to me that the party I was about to attend would be full of people who haven't seen me in a while - old people, like in their 50's and 60's. Certainly, they'd have some issue with my showing up looking the way I did. My response - Fuck them.

My favorite line in George Michael's "Freedom '90" is "Sometimes the clothes do not make the man." I never realized the impact of those words until yesterday. For the record, no one who actually knew me had a thing to say about my clothes except, "You look so cute!!"

Towards the end of the party, some old biddy I'd never met stops in front of me, says, "You look (pause to look me up and down) different. How are you?" I just smile and say, "I'm great, thanks. How are you?" not wanting to dignify the comment. No matter what I wear, of course I'll look different. Everyone looks different. How is that noteworthy to anyone with real self-esteem?

Literally thirty seconds later, some old fart stops in front of me and says, "Ooh, wild animal!" I politely smile and turn back to my conversation. My friend Michael says, "Boy you're sure getting the comments today, but I guess that's what you were going for." I gave him a semi-disgusted look and say, "Actually, no it's not. This is just what I felt like wearing today."

I say "semi-disgusted" because I have dressed for attention in the past, but it was never like this. My twirly skirts were for attention in the swing dancing community. Ultra-feminine or elegant clothes were for attention from men. Cleavage was for attention. None of it got the results I wanted because even the most unaware person could sense that it was all for show and not a genuine expression of my character. I can't really blame Michael for not recognizing the real me on his first try. Maybe he'll do better next time.

In the spirit of "Freedom '90", the rock star look isn't a permanent fixture simply because I don't like to limit myself. Life is one giant costume party, but sometimes it takes us a while to realize we've been invited. I'm glad I finally arrived.

I love you guys!

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 16:39:59 GMT

As you all know, I get a little mushy a few times a year, and I get super appreciative of my friendships. New Year's is one of those times - especially today because it's an important anniversary, which I just realized as I was typing this.

I may blog in detail later, but when I'm effervescing with emotion, I like to get it out before I pop. So, here it is:

Y'all are so special to me! I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being who you are.

Anyway, Sweetie Pie is out of town, but my high school sweetheart is here, and I'm going to take him to dinner tonight. I'm hoping he'll either accompany me or cut me loose in time to go to TTS. We'll see.

Best girlfriend ever!

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 17:05:34 GMT

Ok, so I've been dying to blog this for about a month, but Sweetie Pie has all of my blog addresses and might accidentally find it and ruin the surprise.

Normally at gift-giving time, I have a really hard time buying just the right gift. I put WAY too much pressure on myself. This year, the perfect answer came to me!

I bought Dax sailing lessons. He's been talking about them for months, but he's never done anything about it, and then he talks about it some more, and it becomes a vicious cycle of wishing. So, I got him a gift certificate. It's good for only six months, so he HAS to take them now because you know I'm not going to let that money go to waste.

Hee hee, it's my way of saying "Do something nice for yourself, goddammit!!"

Hallooooooooooooooooooooo

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 15:31:37 GMT

Is anyone out there??

I'm stuck at work! IT'S BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're stuck too, let's talk!!!!!!!!

Getting taped to my mirror

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 16:47:16 GMT

I want! I want! I want!!!!!!

Fork that!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 19:30:56 GMT

There's SO much wrong with my lunch today.
I'm eating sushi with a fork because I left my chopsticks in the grocery basket.
I really shouldn't be eating sushi because I don't have any carb blockers.
I just used WAY too much wasabi.

The Gods on Mount Atkins are going to strike me down.
Worth it . . . SOOOOO worth it.

I don't have enough friends! ha ha ha

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:34:33 GMT

So I'm getting a lot of "somethings" this year. Is that like a widget?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, danceblues sent to me...

Twelve somethings drumming

Eleven somethings piping

Ten somethings a-leaping

Nine thepeterpixies dancing

Eight stop_no_donts a-milking

Seven ravencees a-swimming

Six koikanas a-laying

Five se-e-e-eweccentrics

Four firemansprncss

Three ulysseszweibels

Two imaginauts

...and a LiveJournal meme in a pear tree.

See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me.

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 22:45:30 GMT

Just got back from the neurologist.

He asked a Brazilian questions, tested my strength and eye movement, and thoroughly explained everything that's happened to me including why my ENT is an idiot.

He says I don't have "Classic Bell's". I have a lesser form of Bell's Palsy that doesn't hit as hard and heals much faster than Classic Bell's.

"Doesn't hit as hard?" you ask. Yeah, if I had Classic Bell's, I wouldn't have been able to close my eye at all. And as much as I had to concentrate on doing so, the eye did close.

I'm not fully recovered, and it's really obvious when I get tired, but I'm on the right path.

I'm satisfied with his conclusions because he did take the time to listen to all of my concerns, and he did take the time to address them. I've got a follow-up appointment in a month, and astounding improvement is expected.

Thanks so much to everyone who supported me and wished me well over the past month. Your love has definitely helped me get through this.

BIG HUGS!!!!!

I'm copying Albert

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 18:42:52 GMT

Well, if they'd asked where I live and what my job is, the "redneck" category would be closer to the top. Hyuck hyuck, they thinks I'm purty.

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract artsy people! Those free spirited artists with great imaginations find you interesting. They are usually interesting themselves, so its not a bad thing, but they CAN be a bit wifty and choose odd goals. If you like life to always be a bit 'different' from the norm, but not too extreme in any one direction, these are the people for you. If you seek logical decision making skills and good money management, you may want to change something in the way you appear. Artsy people are fun for adventure and exploring, so, have fun! (smoking weed helps too)
You attract Yuppies!
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract unstable people!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 16:22:33 GMT

I owe a few people an apology.

I just got really pissy at my office about an hour ago, and I have no excuse.

Basically, a member questioned my coworker about some information I presented. The member was implying I'd made a mistake, and my coworker was siding with him.

I got frustrated with the member for not understanding the information I gave him, and I got really irritated with my coworker for immediately questioning me over something that's REALLY obvious.

So, I got snippy. I got them to understand the information by printing up everything and walking them through it step-by-step. It was easy enough, but I didn't like being challenged.

Now, I'm sitting at my desk laughing at the obvious parallel in my personal life. In a nutshell, this is like my situation with my doctor, only somewhat reversed:
My coworker and I have the knowledge and skills to resolve the situation
The member has the concern that a mistake has been made, and it needs to be addressed
My coworker was intimidated because he felt that the member had more credibility, so he doubted himself.

I came to the rescue by producing hard core evidence. Everyone's happy. Well, the member's not happy because I proved him wrong, but he has nothing further to argue. I'm still a little frustrated because this has resulted in my taking on an extra step in my usual duties, but whatever. It's a tiny step that will save frustration later. I can adapt. Maybe this means my personal situation will result in an extra tiny step for a doctor's usual duties which will ultimately prevent major frustrations.

Here's to hoping . . .